The Holiday
Release date: 8 December 2006 (UK)
Director: Nancy Meyers
Starring: Cameron Diaz; Kate Winslet; Jude Law; Jack Black; Eli Wallach; Edward Burns; Rufus Sewell
Screenplay: Nancy Meyers
Running time: 2h 11m
Distributed by: Universal Pictures, Columbia Pictures
It’s festive review time! (I am of course writing the festive reviews on 5 January, in classic late December ‘let’s circle back to that after the holiday’ fashion.)
The Holiday is a bit like Love Actually, in that it came out, people watched it and quite liked it, and somewhere in the last 20 years or so it’s become a Christmas staple. I think I watched half of it once, and was quite upset that it wasn’t half as good as I’d expected. I seem to remember giving up right about the scene where Kate Winslet discovers Cameron Diaz’s blackout blinds and screams with joy. 20 odd years and one baby later, I think I understand that scene far more and would like to apologise to Kate and whoever wrote it.
This is actually an appropriate level of joy on discovering a home with voice activated blackout blinds, apologies
In all other respects though I was completely right, this is a terrible film. You’ve probably seen it already, but just in case, the set up is simple - Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet have crap love lives, they swap houses at Christmas and magically both find boyfriends. There’s not a lot else to say really. The set up is weird (I know the internet has made us all more cynical than we were in 2006 but really, are you just going to go online and hand your house - AND YOUR DOG - over to a total stranger in less than 24 hours?) the acting is pretty boring all round and there’s absolutely no conflict for anyone. Cameron Diaz meets and shags Jude Law within HOURS of her arrival and they have a fairly straightforward time from there.
An entirely conflict free frolic, it’s just not Christmassy is it?
Speaking of time - going into this my friend Claire pointed out that something very odd is going on with the timeline in this one, and she’s not wrong. Kate Winslet’s first scene is at her office Christmas party where said office - The Telegraph newspaper - is 'not closing for the week but quietening down.’ So, this must be the week of Christmas. Somehow, within this week but - crucially - before Christmas itself, she and Cameron Diaz manage to meet on the internet, pack up their lives (and tidy their homes, which would be the major challenge from my point of view) fly to London/LA, meet the man of their dreams and, in Kate Winslet’s case, also befriend an elderly screen writer and instigate a keep fit programme in a pool for him. On top of this - and this part is crucial - CHRISTMAS NEVER HAPPENS IN THIS FILM. It’s just suddenly new years!
WHEN WAS CHRISTMAS??
The only part I quite like is Cameron Diaz’s weird job as a film trailer editor (this also makes no sense actually, she is editing the trailer for a christmas film due to come out that year, a week before Christmas??) which means she constantly hears film trailer-esque voiceovers about her life at difficult moments, an affliction I can sort of relate to.
Anyway, yes, I have no energy for anything but to say this is a terrible film and I object to it being the cinema’s Christmas offering. Where was Home Alone? The Muppet Christmas Carol? I’d even take Love Actually at this point. On the other hand, Christmas meant all three of us could go to baby cinema together, and two pairs of adult hands per baby is my idea of a Christmas miracle.
Good things: Kate Winslet looks like an acting GOD next to the rest of them
Bad things: I am shocked that Kate Winslet included her dog as part of the house swap package and I don’t think we talk about this enough. Did she warn Cameron? Who accepts custody of a stranger’s dog for Christmas? I wouldn’t accept a HAMSTER over christmas! But also, WHEN WAS CHRISTMAS?
My review: WHEN WAS CHRISTMAS?
Lily’s review: One poo. Fair.
Next week: Sentimental Value